The film Pearl Harbor is a historical war drama that was released in 2001. It follows the lives of two best friends, Rafe McCawley and Danny Walker, who are both in love with the same nurse, Evelyn Johnson. The story places place during the height of tensions of World War II. More specifically, a period between the initial attack and the aftermath of the Pearl Harbor bombing on December 7^th, 1941. This film perfectly portrays the relational developments between our main characters and how they managed to work through their differences and find common ground to strengthen their bond. This paper will focus on analyzing the film through Knapp’s Stages of Relational Development, which outlines the various stages a relationship typically goes through, from the initial initiation to the final dissolution.

Stage One: Initiation

The initiation stage is the first stage of Knapp’s relational development, where people first meet and become acquainted with each other. In the film Pearl Harbor, this stage is seen in the beginning when Rafe and Danny first meet as pilots in flight school. They quickly become friends and start to share their experiences and beliefs with each other. The initiation stage is characterized by uncertainty, as people are still trying to figure out who the other person is,  whether they have any common ground, and learning about their preferences and likings.

In the film, Rafe and Danny’s friendship is established relatively quickly as they share the same passion and goal to become a pilot. But, unfortunately, a looming uncertainty also complicates their relationship, and that is when Evelyn arrives because both have developed a feeling for her. Although the two friends have different opinions of Evelyn, their shared interest in her creates tension in their friendship. This serves as a reminder that even during the initial initiation, relationships can have hurdles, challenges, and obstacles that must be addressed in order for them to progress into the next step and advance their relations.

Stage Two: Experimenting

The experimenting stage is the second stage of relational development. People usually would start to test the waters and try out different behaviors to see what works and doesn’t in the relationship. In Pearl Harbor, this stage is seen when Rafe and Danny pursue Evelyn romantically in an effort to win favors with her. Even though they both want to date her, they are unsure how to approach her, so they experiment with different strategies on their own accord to try to impress her.

In the film, although both Rafe and Danny experiment with different approaches to try and win Evelyn’s affection, their efforts are complicated by the fact that they are both pursuing the same woman. This, quite frankly, serves as an example of how the experimenting stage can lead to competition and conflict in relationships, especially when people have different goals and desires.

Stage Three: Intensifying

The intensifying stage is the third stage of relational development, where people start to become more serious about the relationship and make a more significant effort to build a deeper connection. In Pearl Harbor, this stage is seen when Rafe and Danny’s relationship with Evelyn intensifies as they each become more committed to winning her over. They start to express their feelings more openly and make a more significant effort to spend time with her.

In the film, the intensifying stage is marked by competition and conflict between Rafe and Danny as they continue their pursuit of Evelyn. Although this also exemplifies how competition and conflict can arise in relationships when people have different goals and desires, it also demonstrates how, with effort and communication, these conflicted interests can be resolved, and the relationship can still be strengthened.

Stage Four: Integrating

The integrating stage is the fourth relational development stage, where people merge their lives and become more interdependent. In Pearl Harbor, this stage is seen when Rafe and Danny become integrated into the military and are sent to fight in the war in Europe. Because of this enlistment to fight for a common purpose, they become more interdependent as they rely on each other for support and protection in combat.

In the film, the integrating stage is marked by the close bond that was formed between Rafe and Danny as they fought shoulder to shoulder. This is an example of how people can become more interdependent to develop stronger ties with each other when they are forced to face shared challenges and experiences. However, it also highlights the fact that even close relationships can be disrupted by outside events, as seen when Rafe is shot down and presumed dead, causing a rift in his friendship with Danny.

Stage Five: Bonding

The bonding stage is the fifth stage of relational development, where people solidify the relationship by committing more of their time or resources to each other. In Pearl Harbor, this stage is evidenced when Rafe and Danny return from Europe after their enlistment ends and when they try to revive their friendship following their return. They become more aware of the importance of the relationship they built up during their time in Europe because they have grown to know each other’s interests and preferences on a deeper level. A level of awareness that, quite frankly, is often even missing among their family members and past friends. With that, they have decided to commit even more time together after returning to support each other emotionally.

In the film, the bonding stage is demonstrated by the strong bond that forms between Rafe and Danny as they rekindle their friendship. This exemplifies how relationships can become stronger and more resilient after overcoming challenges and difficulties and with the passage of time. However, it also highlights the importance of open communication and a commitment to each other in order to maintain a strong bond.

Stage Six: Differentiating

The differentiating stage is the sixth stage of relational development, where people start acknowledging and accepting each other’s differences. In Pearl Harbor, this stage is on full display when Rafe and Danny begin to recognize each other’s different approaches to life and relationships. They accepted each other’s differences and learned to respect each other’s perspectives.

In the film, the differentiating stage is demonstrated by how Rafe and Danny start to acknowledge each other’s different approaches to relationships, particularly in their pursuit of Evelyn. This is a great example of how relationships can become stronger and more resilient when people learn to accept and respect each other’s differences. However, it also highlights the importance of mutual respect and the willingness to give up something that you hold dear in exchange for a strong relationship and a better bond.

Stage Seven: Circumscribing

Circumscribing is the seventh stage of Knapp’s relational development, where partners in a relationship start to set boundaries and limit the level of intimacy they are willing to share with each other. Although this stage is not apparent between Rafe and Danny, two major male characters, it is present, however, in Danny’s relationship with Evelyn. This is seen when Danny and Evelyn become more distanced from each other and start setting boundaries in their intimate relationship.

In the film, circumscribing is demonstrated when Danny and Evelyn start to limit the level of intimacy they are willing to share with each other as their relationship begins to stagnate. This serves as a reminder of the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and the need for all people involved to feel comfortable and respected. This again highlights the need for open communication and mutual respect in order to sustain a healthy relationship.

However, the circumscribing stage is also where mistakes are made in the film. Danny and Evelyn struggle to communicate effectively, leading to many misunderstandings and conflicts that eventually lead to the collapse of their relationship. This, again, serves as a lesson that effective communication requires mutual respect to sustain healthy relationships. It highlights the importance of being proactive in resolving disputes and working towards a resolution before the gap, or the rift, in this case, becomes too wide to bridge and resolute.

Stage Eight: Stagnating

The stagnating stage is the eighth stage of relational development, where the relationship becomes stale and predictable. In Pearl Harbor, this stage is seen when Rafe and Danny’s friendship becomes stagnant initially following their return from Europe. They start to take each other for granted, and their friendship’s excitement and novelty begin to fade.

In the film, the stagnating stage is demonstrated by how Rafe and Danny’s friendship becomes predictable and uneventful after they return from Europe. This is a perfect sign showcasing how relationships can become stale and sparkless if people become complacent and when friends take each other’s companionship for granted. It is vital to continue investing in the relationship and keep things fresh and exciting to maintain and retain that strong bond.

Stage Nine: Avoiding

The avoiding stage is the ninth stage of relational development, where people start to avoid each other and withdraw from the relationship. In Pearl Harbor, this stage is evidenced when Rafe and Danny begin to avoid each other after Rafe becomes involved with Evelyn. As a result, they start to withdraw from each other, and their friendship becomes strained.

In the film, the avoiding stage is demonstrated by the way that Rafe and Danny start to avoid each other after Rafe becomes more involved with Evelyn and when it becomes more apparent that Danny is going to lose Evelyn because of their unbridgeable misunderstanding. This shows how relationships can become strained and deteriorate if people start to avoid each other and withdraw from the relationship. At that point, Danny is not only risking losing Evelyn but also slowly losing Rafe. Therefore, it is essential to communicate and address any issues in advance and talk things out before the situation becomes so out of hand that it becomes unsalvageable.

Stage Ten: Terminating

The terminating stage is the last stage of relational development, where the relationship comes to an end. In Pearl Harbor, this stage is seen when Rafe and Danny’s friendship ends after Rafe is killed in the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Their friendship ends abruptly, and they are unable to reconcile before Rafe’s death. Although mourning is not a stage in the relational development cycle, it is important to note that there is always a period of time when people come to terms with the relationship acknowledging its conclusion and decide to move on with their life. In the film, it is seen that Danny mourns the loss of Rafe and is very regretful that his relationship with Rafe has become the way it has developed, and he feels the inner guilt eating him alive that he is never going to see Rafe again to talk things out. This is a perfect example of the fragility of relationships and how outside events can abruptly end one, even among the closest of relationships, that is, family members. It highlights the utmost importance of being able to cherish what you have and value the time you were able to spend with that person while they are still present and acknowledge the pertinent need to reconcile and resolve any conflicts before it is too late.

Conclusion

The film Pearl Harbor really provides an astonishingly rich and insightful portrayal of the stages of relational development. Through the friendship between Rafe and Danny and their relationships with Evelyn, the film illustrates a clear picture for us to follow while also offering some incredibly vital lessons to be learned. It also showcases many of the bullets that we should dodge when it comes to maintaining and sustaining a healthy relationship because each stage serves as an opportunity to learn and reflect on the importance of effective interpersonal communication, mutual respect, and the value of relationships. The film also serves as a reminder of the fragility of relationships and the cardinal need to cherish and value them while they are still present. Because at the end of the day, the last thing that you will want to feel at your closest friend or family member’s funeral or tombstone is the bitter and utter sense of remorse and regret that you could have done something while they were still alive and present, just like Danny.

References

Michael Bay (Director). (2001). Pearl Harbor [Film]. Touchstone Pictures, Jerry Bruckheimer Films.