American family values are actually quite distinct and unique and are often vastly different than the values from other parts of the world. That is because in the U.S, although ideologically, we still prefer our own biological descendants, we do not tend to emphasize it all that much because of our culturally acceptable stance on people remarrying. Often bringing their own children from their previous marriage into this newly rejoint family. This, quite frankly, is in stark contrast to Asian family values, especially in countries where they were significantly influenced by the ancient Chinese culture, such as, of course, China, Japan, and Korea. Although China also did, in recent years, embrace the idea that “biological birth is nowhere near as close of a relationship as those who raised you.” But culturally speaking, China is still not ready to make that shift. In China, if you have children from a previous marriage, you are often seen as a massive burden to the new family, what they refer to as “dragging oil bottles.” Because of that, you are also likely seen as a person with a significant financial burden and are often profiled as unable to provide for the new family, especially if you are a woman. In contrast, however, in the U.S, some previously divorced couples are actually seen as having more of a competitive edge than those single persons in the dating scene. They are often seen to have experienced family life and, therefore, are more capable of knowing what the family needs and how to properly take care of adolescents in the household, rather than marrying a single person who has no idea what it means to start a family and how to tend to the needs of children.

So to elaborate a bit further on the previous example of remarriage. Suppose both parents remarried and they both have a child of their own to bring to the new household, that is, of the opposite gender, and by living under the same roof, they became attached and fell in love. In this instance, although it is not considered legally unacceptable, I would argue that this does create some complications and might create a socially awkward and even potentially unacceptable moment, such as announcing it with close relatives and hosting wedding ceremonies. This is especially true if you are from a traditional Asian family.

Responses to the professor or other students:

Response One:

Interesting analogy. Your example of transgender marital unity with adopted children is an interesting example. You are right; they are legally acceptable, at least here in California. But yes, it might create social turbulence with their close relatives who do not share that idea of transgender rights. But to be fair, in my opinion, I believe that we, as a society, should focus more on practice rather than strictly on principle. There is no scientifically proven research that solidly concludes that transgender parents are incapable of raising adopted children correctly, enshrining them with proper moral values, and most importantly, providing them with a bright future ahead.

Response Two:

You are right, and I really like your mention that some people may have eighteen siblings, but they are not all blood-related. What I would also add, though, is that not all siblings are age-alike. For example, my oldest brother on my father’s side is just three years younger than my mother. Nevertheless, according to the cultural norm, my oldest brother still has to call my mom (older) sister-in-law, in Chinese. Similarly, a lot of my nieces are a lot older than me. But because I am on the same hierarchical generation table as their father, my oldest brother, they will still have to refer to me as (little) uncle. In this context, you see that in Chinese, there are older and younger variations signifying seniority, but in English, it just straight out translates into sister-in-law and simply uncle.